THROW AWAY KIDS

I was having lunch with my father last week when he made the comment to me once again “You have not changed, you will still bring home any stray be it animal or human”. He is right I have always been that way. As a child it would break my heart to see a homeless animal and it never failed the friends I would have came from very dysfunctional homes. I see that my trait has been passed down to my son.

I live in a three bedroom townhouse…so not very big you might say. But right now it is inhabited by 6 people lol. Myself and my three children and two throw away kids. Over the years my son has brought a lot of kids home. Some would stay a night or two others for months. It has gotten to the place now that he does not even ask because he knows it is ok for them to stay.

What I just have never understood is how parents can throw their children out like that, like they are garbage that is starting to smell up the kitchen.

There was one child that came in and out of my home for a span of 12 years. It started when he and my son were in Kindergarten. The mother just never seem to care that he was at my place for weeks at a time. And by the time they were 14 or so he was living with me full time until he ventured out on his own.

The two with us now are really trying to do the right things but it is hard without a parents support.

One of them was locked out of her house (by the locks being changed). Everything was fine on a Friday and by Sunday the locks had been changed and she was told she could not come back. Till she was acting the way the mother wanted. Ok I agree that maybe she did make a mistake in judgment but how is kicking her out helping? She was now homeless, no car, no job, no way to get a job and told she could not go back to college. I just really do not understand that thinking. How is denying an education going to help? How is that going to make her into a productive, stable adult? She has made some progress, she had two part-time jobs now but she still is not in school. But to me to worst part is that now she will always have that memory of how her mother just gave up on her.

The other child comes from a very strange situation (at least to me it is strange). The mother has never been in the picture but the father has another family in another state. He use to fly back in on weekends but it seems that has stopped. Basically the older sister was left to raise him. The father provided a house and paid the bills but was just never around. The reason that he is now in my home is because the older sister got a roommate and this roommate got angry at him called the cops and said she felt endangered. Therefore he is forced out of his home and is now 17 and homeless. Where is the father why is he not doing something?

These two children are not horrible kids; no they are not perfect and yes have made mistakes. But my kids mess up all the time, its part of them growing up and learning to be adults. So my question is how does giving up and throwing away your child help them? I get so frustrated and sadden to think that parents actually do this type of thing, and its seems to happen all the time.

No Diving Allowed

Age does not seem to make the confusion any less
Lessons that should have been learned keep repeating
The desired companionship is kept at an arms length
Speaking from both sides of the mouth
Creates a cloud of emotion that fills the mind
Has one moved on or are the thoughts the same as two
The span of silence a tortuous existents
Once made to feel important now nothing but an afterthought
An occasional entertainment to pass the day away
Tears have dried, heart harden
Self preservation emerges once again
Should all be cut - can any be untied

Never fails, dive head first into a relationship and wham your head hits the bottom.

In talking with girlfriends and from personal experience it seems that most relationships take on the same pattern. The first month or two it feels like heaven on earth. That nothing compares to the connection and chemistry you think is there. The little things said that just make your heart go a pitter patter. I have come to call it pillow talk. Now pillow talk can happen at any time, through a text, e-mail or cuddling on a couch.

For some reason, some of us Females become complete idiots during this phase and all we do is giggle and smile and think ohhhhhhh this may be the one! “The one I could have a monogamous, strong, loving relationship with.” “Oh but we connect on so many levels, we can sit for hours just talking”. Dang I have heard that from so many friends and it has even escaped out of my own mouth before.

After this euphoric phase starts to fade for one or the other, then someone is backing off. All the things said prior are no longer spoken and sometimes replaced with ugly and hateful. Not as much time is being spent as a couple, something is always getting in the way. Till it all disappears in a slow fade or sudden break.

I think most of us do wish and long for that lifetime relationship, someone we can trust and count on. The thought of knowing there is someone on this earth that loves us no matter what, is a craving we humans have.

I have come to realize that I have had that kind of love. There was nothing I could ever do that would make my Mother love me any less. I still screw up and my Father is always there with open arms. My children get frustrated with me (as I do with them) but they will always hold that deep love for me in their hearts. I have a couple of friends that have stuck with me through a lot of messed up stuff and still love me regardless. And I have Mr. Spike Lee, who no matter what is always happy with me LOL.

So, do I still desire a type of companionship that is different from all of the above…of course I do…but I am also realistic that at my age it may not happen LOL…and that’s ok…well it’s ok for today .
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Dave, I tried to not put too much of a Female spin on it, but dang it’s hard with all this estrogen