Such a sweet face

Quack, Quack, Quack

Getting my ducks in a row has lead me to the search of rental properties.

Yep, really looks like the kids and I are moving (damn national unemployment crisis).

We are downsizing which is funny to say since we live in only 1,114 square feet but regardless we need smaller. Smaller = less monthly payment, simple math.

Little H had been my rock and only ask that we stay in town, he wants sidewalks and streetlights. A few properties were worth calling about till the rental price was named and all I could say was "ummm oh okay thank you for the information". Then there are the ones in my price range but I know that heating and cooling would be sky high. So the search continues.


We came across this one, just one street over from Main. The price is good but it is connected to an electrolysis something, not sure what it is. But Little H said that he really thought it would be creepy at night. Of course that perked me up..."Oh we could call Ghost Hunters and have TAPS come out and investigate". H was not impressed, guess he is not crushing on J Hawes like myself. I did point out to him that the house next door was the real creepy house.

The teenager did agree with mom on that point. I can see the lady in white peering through the window now!

Little M and H are cool with the possible move and going to an even smaller house. Have to say overall I have fantastic fabulous kids!

H did ask if we could make sure the house was not pink.

He knows this is my dream house :).

For the biggest part life pretty much sucks right now but there are two life pleasures that have kept me going. One is a very old standby, a joy that I can turn to at anytime, the other is a new experience of a few months. Oddly enough the two have become intertwined.

The one and only Dave Matthews Band and Twitter!




This amazing band has always been able to take my thoughts to a wonderful, joyous, euphoric state. Over the years I have relied on the multitude of CD's and concerts to uplift my soul and allow myself to be lost in the music if just for awhile. Where all other thoughts vanish and the music completely consumes you.

Being as I am swallowed up in this "National Economic Crisis" I have not attended a concert since the summer tour of 07. Come hell or high water I shall be there next year even if it requires a solo attendance on my part!

This is where Twitter has stepped in. I accidentally stumbled upon fellow lovers of the The Dave Matthews Band. The past few nights I have lurked on Twitter watching the set list and description of what was happening during the shows. And thanks to ones such as Halloweenbaby, AllanGoesDMB and _ynnie36 I have been able to revisit the emotions and memories of past. The excitement these Twitters have is amazing and the snapshots of the moments they are experiencing is a joy to read.



So as I sit here on the nights of shows am able to view the happenings through the eyes of others. And the memories that I have flood my mind. From being front row center and feeling every note to the depths of my being to dancing in the back field with mud splattered past my knees.

Beautiful amazing music and memories that make life not so bad.

Ranger Rick

He sits above the computer and smiles each day. Such a big pink smile. Honestly he was dumped into the bowl months ago and has not moved. Feng Shui design he is not but a cheerful smile with the coffee he is.

No Title Came to Mind

My Office

The bed, note pad, resume, pen and the phones.

I have not blogged due to overwhelming despair.

Really try not to be negative and concentrate on the positives but as I sit here the main thought that loops over and over is...I will be 42 in a couple of months and here I am starting over.

Trying to be a realist and taking my situation for what it is. Realistically I will not find employment making the salary that I was prior. Realistically I will not be able to afford the house.

I have cut back as much as I can...sure I could discontinue the cell phones, Internet ( DSL land line so there is a house phone) and TV, I may have to. I depend on the cell phones to keep in contact with the kids when they are out and about. And honestly the phones have saved us a few times. The Internet I use daily to search for employment. And Hell the TV gives us some entertainment. I have no credit cards and no car payment. So we are living with the basics. With unemployment we are still in the red, so I know we will continue to be in the red once that is gone (hopefully employed). Sooooo what to do...lower the highest bill I have...the mortgage. I have talked with the lender and we are working on it but I really don't have high hopes. Thinking I may be walking away from our living space that the two little ones consider the first real home. I know, I know it is not the structure that makes the home but I will tell you it does help.

So here I am dragging my kids along...no savings, no 401K, credit shot to hell and no job in sight.

What to do...put one foot in front of the other...it has to get better, Right?